ClipSelect v3

Sense and Insensitivity

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Partake of my free snack samples. Take them.

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I demand it as your ruler, the King of Demons.

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(GRUNTS)

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Why isn't anyone paying attention to me? I'm their rightful overlord.

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-Intellectually and such. -Yeah. Hey.

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-(WHIMPERS) -(SNIFFS)

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It reeks more of nerd than money today.

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-Guys! -Whoa!

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You will not believe what's going on.

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It's a book fair! Where books come to life.

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-BOOK: Hello. -(SCREAMS)

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A fair without rides?

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Who need rides when this can take you anywhere?

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Eh!

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-Whoa! -(CREATURE GROWLING)

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A, ew. B, I'm bored.

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C, I feel like pickpocketing some dork while they browse.

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No, wait. Will you give it a chance? I'll let you ride in my hoody.

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(LAUGHS) Ooh!

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This book fair's got everything.

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A zine-making workshop. Meet and greets.

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And what's that? (GASPS)

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A writing competition?

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I've always wanted to be a writer.

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Writer? What? I thought you wanted to be a witch.

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Of course I wanna be a witch.

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But where I'm from that's kinda impossible.

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So my runner-up dream was to be a writer.

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I've had this "about the author" picture since I was seven years old.

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I know my good angle.

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I'm gonna enter the competition.

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-(LAUGHS) -Ugh!

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What are these basement-dwellers doing out in natural sunlight?

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Um, we're in line for John de Plume, most famous writer on the Boiling Isles,

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famed author of the Realm Warrior series.

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I'm gonna have him read my story. And marry me.

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-John, will you sign my child? -I'll sign anything.

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(LAUGHING)

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Such power. Such command he holds over his minions.

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I must have the same.

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Luz the human, I, too, shall enter the competition.

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Really? (GASPS) We could work together. It'll be perfect.

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We're best friends, so we'll make the best team.

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Team. Yes. My name goes first on the cover.

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(OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

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Boring. Boring.

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(GRUNTS)

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Boring. (GASPING)

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Another wrinkle. The curse is quickening.

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You. Blacky.

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Lilith.

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Do you have the item we discussed?

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Oh, yes. Right here.

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This is excellent. A map to the Bloom of Eternal Youth.

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I think the emperor will be very pleased.

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Ma'am, shouldn't we be searching for the Owl Lady to join the coven?

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Remember that whole plan?

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(SCOFFS) My sister's curse has left her frail.

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She'll still be here when we get back.

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(GROANS)

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This comes first. It's for the emperor, after all.

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Yeah. All hail the emperor.

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-Very good, Steve. -Shoulder pads for Steve.

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Hey, bub, what'd you sell my prissy sister?

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Oh, it's a map to the Bloom of Eternal Youth,

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a rare flower that only grows once a millennia.

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Like the name says, it gives eternal youth to whomever holds it.

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Interesting. So Lilith wants to nab this power for the emperor, huh?

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Well, won't she be surprised when I get there first and get it for myself?

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Ha! That'll show her who's frail.

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Yes. Well, uh, we'll see, won't we?

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Can't go without a map, of course.

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Now, let's write down some ideas that we wanna see in the story.

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-I can write anything? -Yeah. We're brainstorming.

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Every idea is a good idea.

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Uh-huh, uh-huh. Done.

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Aw, is that all you wanna see?

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Hmm.

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Romance. Magic. Heartbreak with shimmer tears.

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And the main character is, of course... (HUMMING) Luzura.

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I know it's kinda cliché but what's wrong with cliché?

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(KING GRUNTS)

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And my main character's the King... The Ruler of Demons.

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With this totally original, all-star cast, victory will be ours.

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Now, for the easy part.

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"Luzura's tears fell on the frozen prince, bringing him back to life."

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-Eh, it just feels a little unrealistic. -I see what you're saying.

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But in your version, Ruler just destroys everything.

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I think a little romantic tension could help the scene.

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Hey, there's more to life than shipping.

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Don't you dare insult shipping in my presence.

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EDA: Apprentice, living room.

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I'll be back. We'll figure this out. Okay, writing buddy?

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My turn to write.

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Hey. What's up, boss lady?

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I am popping out for a few days

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to an undisclosed place to do undisclosed things.

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-You're in charge. -Great.

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-No questions. -Okay.

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I said no questions.

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Well, King, it's just you and me for a while.

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(GASPS)

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-Hey, Luz. Great news. -What have you done?

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I just made a few tiny edits, and this baby is humming.

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-Luzura dies? -I know, right? What a twist.

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King, I know you're trying to help but I think you're crossing a line.

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Yeah, into greatness. Don't you want us to win?

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If this is how you wanna win,

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then maybe you should submit the story on your own.

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What?

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-(DOOR CLOSES) -Bah! What does she know?

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-What the heck, man? Learn to collaborate. -Hush, you.

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I'll prove to both of you my story is superior.

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Hey, you scum.

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Which one of you wants to read my literary masterpiece?

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Anyone brave enough?

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(ALL GROANING)

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Oof!

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(GRUNTS)

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(GROANS)

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LIZARD: I'll read your story.

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-You wrote this? -Yep, that's me. Only me.

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-Let me get you a fruit punch. -Ooh, I love punching.

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(SNAPS FINGERS)

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I'm Piniet of Piniet Publishing House. And your name is King?

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-It's more of a rank than a name. -I loved your story.

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So much better than the submissions we got for the competition.

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I want to buy it and publish it for everyone to read.

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I'll make you as famous as John de Plume.

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-(FANS SQUEALING) -(IMITATES GUNSHOTS)

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I've always wanted a people chair. I'm in.

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This'll be the first step in my reclamation of power.

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Then all you have to do is sign here.

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-You're ominous. And I like it. -Get ready to be famous, Mr. King.

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(HUFFING)

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(STEAM HISSING)

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Ow.

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Jeez.

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It's the perfect blend of heart and heartlessness.

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Like two authors mashed into one.

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-(APPLAUSE) -(NEIGHING)

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(CLAMORING)

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Spend money on my thing I wrote. Spend money on my thing I wrote.

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-(GASPING) -(EXCITED CHATTER)

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Whoo-hoo!

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-Yeah. -Mr. King. Mr. King, I love your writing.

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Please read my story.

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(LAUGHING)

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Oh, my. Always good to meet minions. I mean fans.

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You're my inspiration.

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Okay, from the Minitaur, I head due north.

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And with luck, I'll get to the Bloom of Eternal Youth before Lilith.

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(LAUGHING)

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Ah, who's frail now, emperor dorks?

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-(TWIG SNAPS) -(GASPS)

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Someone's following me.

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Spicy toss.

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(SCREAMS)

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-Lily? -Edalyn?

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(SIGHS) And of course you would be here just to be a nuisance.

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Why don't you go home and rest? Wouldn't want you breaking a hip.

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Sorry, sister. I'm stronger than you think.

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I'm here to save the Bloom of Eternal Youth from the likes of you.

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-♪ And I'm gonna get there before you ♪ -(GASPS) No, you won't.

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(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)

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KING: Hey, Luz.

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Guess who won the writing competition and became a blockbuster writer superstar?

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You're right. It's me. Me. Do you wanna touch my scarf?

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A fan crocheted it out of their own hair. It smells so bad.

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My publisher is throwing a huge party for my book, Ruler's Reach,

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and I, uh... I'd like for you to be there.

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(TYPING CONTINUES)

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All right, fine. Be that way, I guess.

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(SIGHS)

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Girl, you don't need him.

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But I don't want to be mad at him, either.

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(EXCITED CHATTER)

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FAN: Your fans are dying to know when Ruler's Reach 2 comes out.

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That's between me and my publisher. Right, Piniet?

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Yes. Oh, pardon me. I need a few moments of King's time.

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(FANS SQUEALING)

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Where's John de Plume at? I wanted to compare sunglasses.

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Oh, he's taking a break to finish his latest masterpiece.

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Fame can really box you in, you know?

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Speaking of, how's your second book coming along?

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Coming along or finished? Bam! (LAUGHS) Ruler's Reach 2.

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-Now with more swears. -Ah, splendid.

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Oh, you cad. Not only are you a great writer but a practical joker as well.

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That's true. Wait. What?

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This is truly awful. Looking forward to the real draft.

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"Truly awful"? But I'm a best-selling writer. How?

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Luz. I can't write without her.

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Luz, buddy, I'm so glad you could make it.

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Hey, King. I didn't want to be angry at your success.

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You're my friend. So, congratulations.

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Great to hear. 'Cause I really need your help with my next book.

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Huh?

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Apparently, I can't write my daring works of genius

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without rebelling against your gushy fantasy slop.

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-Excuse me? -We make a great team.

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So here's a pen. Writey, writey. Clock's a-ticking.

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(ALL GASPING)

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I'm not writing for you after you made fun of all my ideas.

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Hey. What the heck?

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Congratulations on all your hard-earned success.

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What am I gonna do? I can't write without her.

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Hmm.

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(PANTING)

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Ha! Doesn't this remind you of how we used to race to the kitchen, Lily?

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Lily?

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-(MUFFLED SCREAMING) -(GASPS)

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(HISSING)

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(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

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Lily.

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-(EXPLOSION) -(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

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(GRUNTS)

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Alley-oop.

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(SIGHS) Thank you, Edalyn. I wasn't certain that you'd save me.

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Stow it. We might fight but you're still my sister.

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Besides, if anyone's putting you down, it's gonna be me.

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-Ha! -(COUGHING)

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(CHUCKLES, GASPS)

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Is that...

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The Bloom of Eternal Youth.

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All right. Back off. That baby's mine.

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(GRUNTS) Why are you always like this?

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Because, Lilith, you think I'm just some tired, old biddy.

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Ah, but I'm more than that.

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And with the Bloom of Eternal Youth's power, I'll show you.

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(FIZZLING)

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What the...

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(GIGGLING)

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(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

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(SIGHS)

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-They got his good angle. -(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

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Uh, can I help you?

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Perhaps. I hear you're an aspiring writer.

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(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

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-MAN: We love you, King. -FANS: (CHANTING) King. King. King.

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I can't wait for the sequel.

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If it's disappointing in any way, I will spend every day of my life trashing it.

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Oh, boy. Oh, man. Jeez.

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(WHIMPERING) Hemming, hawing.

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Piniet, I gotta come clean. We can't announce book two.

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-I can't write without... Without... -PINIET: Without your writing partner?

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-(GASPS) King. -Luz.

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That snappily-dressed lizard trapped me in this shrinking box.

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Whoa!

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You gotta get me out.

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What are you doing with her? Let her go.

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You wrote Ruler's Reach together.

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So if you don't want her crushed, you'll write together again.

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Oh, don't give me that look.

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Some of the best books were written in literal crunch time.

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(SCREAMS)

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That's a toxic mentality that contributes to burnout and unrealistic expectations.

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King, do something.

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(GRUNTS) Set her free now.

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Not until I get my best-seller. You'll recall you are under contract.

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Whoa. (EXCLAIMS)

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-Whoa. -Oof!

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Make your deadline or you'll never be able to hold a pen again. Just like...

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-Help me. -No!

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-Help us. -Get us out of here.

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I'll leave you to it.

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Looking forward to your next volume.

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(BOTH GASPING)

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We're not getting out of here until we write a book. And that'll take forever.

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-We're cube meat. -Well, I have my story.

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But it's all hugging and crying. I can't put my name on that.

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King, that is why we are in here.

0:16:23.98 - 0:16:27.49

Because you can't compromise.

0:16:27.65 - 0:16:30.57

All I wanted was to write a dumb story with my friend.

0:16:31.99 - 0:16:35.00

Luz, you're living your dream. You're becoming a witch.

0:16:35.16 - 0:16:37.96

But this celebrity is as close as I'll ever get to my dream.

0:16:38.12 - 0:16:41.04

It all went to my head, and I hurt you. I'm sorry.

0:16:41.46 - 0:16:45.21

Hey. Being with you is one of my favorite parts of this dream.

0:16:45.76 - 0:16:46.88

(WHIMPERS)

0:16:47.30 - 0:16:50.84

I have a plan. But we need to work together this time.

0:16:51.14 - 0:16:52.55

Just tell me what to do.

0:16:53.26 - 0:16:55.31

VENDOR: I know you must be confused.

0:16:55.47 - 0:16:58.56

The Bloom of Eternal Youth, dead?

0:16:58.89 - 0:17:01.94

What if I told you the Bloom never existed at all?

0:17:02.11 - 0:17:04.98

And now that I have led you to my nest,

0:17:05.23 - 0:17:10.57

I'll suck all the life out of you to satisfy my unending hunger.

0:17:10.74 - 0:17:13.28

He scammed us. Can you believe he scammed us?

0:17:13.58 - 0:17:16.24

I thought there was a 50/50 chance going in.

0:17:16.41 - 0:17:18.79

Hard not to admire the tenacity, though.

0:17:18.96 - 0:17:21.96

Good entrance. But that outfit? Ha!

0:17:22.13 - 0:17:25.13

-Oh, look at his little shoes. -(LAUGHING) Stop it.

0:17:26.38 - 0:17:29.34

Maybe you've never been led into a lethal trap before,

0:17:29.51 - 0:17:33.39

but the response should be, "Ah! No. Spare us."

0:17:35.26 - 0:17:38.06

Ah, sure. Spare us.

0:17:38.22 - 0:17:41.73

-Woe to us, whose fates are sealed. -(KNUCKLES CRACKING)

0:17:42.69 - 0:17:45.07

That's right. Witches, cower.

0:17:45.23 - 0:17:47.36

(WHIMPERS) Cower.

0:17:47.53 - 0:17:48.53

(GULPS)

0:17:49.78 - 0:17:53.49

-Oh, dang. -KING: Hey, Piniet. We're done.

0:17:55.03 - 0:17:58.54

-PINIET: Faster than I expected. -That's the miracle of teamwork.

0:18:05.50 - 0:18:08.80

This is much more gushy than your last book.

0:18:09.01 - 0:18:12.01

Skip to the finale, because it is quite a payoff.

0:18:19.18 - 0:18:22.02

-What is this all about? -Light spell.

0:18:22.89 - 0:18:24.73

-(FIRE IGNITES) -(GRUNTS)

0:18:25.69 - 0:18:27.61

I just realized I should've said "enlightening."

0:18:27.77 - 0:18:30.69

"Skip to the finale. You'll find it enlightening."

0:18:30.86 - 0:18:32.20

King, the contract.

0:18:33.53 - 0:18:35.16

Pretentious scarf, go.

0:18:35.57 - 0:18:36.70

(YELLS, GRUNTS)

0:18:38.66 - 0:18:39.66

(GROWLING)

0:18:40.16 - 0:18:41.37

(BOTH GRUNTING)

0:18:43.08 - 0:18:46.79

I made you a star and this is how you repay me?

0:18:47.04 - 0:18:48.50

No. This is.

0:18:48.67 - 0:18:50.01

(ALL YELLING)

0:18:50.17 - 0:18:51.88

How's this for edits?

0:18:52.26 - 0:18:53.63

I'm self-publishing.

0:18:54.80 - 0:18:56.30

(BOTH GRUNT)

0:18:57.14 - 0:18:58.14

(GRUNTS)

0:18:58.31 - 0:19:01.27

You're making this harder than it needs to be.

0:19:01.43 - 0:19:04.94

And believe me, I am being very patient.

0:19:05.10 - 0:19:07.15

(PANTING, GRUNTS)

0:19:07.31 - 0:19:08.57

But let's...

0:19:11.36 - 0:19:13.19

(GRUNTS) Cut to the finish.

0:19:14.99 - 0:19:15.99

ALL: Huh?

0:19:16.16 - 0:19:19.03

King, I am your biggest fan.

0:19:19.20 - 0:19:20.20

(GRUNTS)

0:19:21.33 - 0:19:24.66

And I fought my way back here for you to read my story.

0:19:25.75 - 0:19:28.46

I'm sorry. My lawyer advised me not to look at unsolicited work.

0:19:28.88 - 0:19:30.50

-But... But... -PINIET: Ugh!

0:19:31.26 - 0:19:34.92

If I read this will you go, so I can annihilate them in peace?

0:19:35.38 - 0:19:36.38

Of course.

0:19:36.88 - 0:19:37.89

(AXE CLATTERS)

0:19:47.14 - 0:19:48.15

(SNIFFLES) Oh.

0:19:48.77 - 0:19:52.65

It's beautiful. You must let me publish this.

0:19:52.86 - 0:19:56.03

-I can make you a star. -Really?

0:19:56.49 - 0:19:58.53

Wait a minute. What about King?

0:19:59.07 - 0:20:00.62

-Ugh! -Whoa!

0:20:00.78 - 0:20:05.00

You're old news. She, on the other hand, is the future.

0:20:05.16 - 0:20:06.16

Freedom.

0:20:06.33 - 0:20:07.67

-Hey. -King.

0:20:07.83 - 0:20:10.84

-We're good, then? -Yes. Quite.

0:20:11.84 - 0:20:12.84

(GRUNTS)

0:20:13.34 - 0:20:14.34

(IMITATES GUNSHOTS)

0:20:15.34 - 0:20:16.34

(GRUNTS)

0:20:16.80 - 0:20:18.38

Well, we wrecked this chump,

0:20:18.55 - 0:20:21.22

but I guess the Bloom of Eternal Youth isn't real.

0:20:21.39 - 0:20:23.81

-(SIGHS) -Well, if it makes any difference,

0:20:24.02 - 0:20:26.02

I don't consider you to be a tired, old biddy.

0:20:26.18 - 0:20:27.27

Really?

0:20:27.44 - 0:20:29.61

If you were, you'd be much easier to catch.

0:20:30.23 - 0:20:33.82

Oh, great. You're gonna cart me away to the coven now, are you?

0:20:34.11 - 0:20:37.99

Not now. Because I want to give you a chance to join on your own.

0:20:39.57 - 0:20:43.99

Join me in the Emperor's Coven, Edalyn. He could even heal your curse.

0:20:47.33 - 0:20:51.79

No. I'll heal it on my own terms. I don't want to owe him anything.

0:20:52.38 - 0:20:55.92

-Catch you later, sis. -Not if I catch you first.

0:21:00.64 - 0:21:01.76

I'll see you around.

0:21:04.06 - 0:21:05.06

Hmm.

0:21:05.89 - 0:21:08.43

You're welcome for the chance to bond.

0:21:09.94 - 0:21:11.15

(YELLING)

0:21:15.86 - 0:21:16.86

(SNORING)

0:21:17.03 - 0:21:18.03

(MUMBLING)

0:21:18.69 - 0:21:19.86

Hey, kids.

0:21:20.03 - 0:21:21.03

-Woof. -(BONES CRACKING)

0:21:21.82 - 0:21:25.37

-That was a rough couple days. -Yeah, I'll say.

0:21:26.95 - 0:21:27.95

(EXHALES)

0:21:28.12 - 0:21:30.96

Well, nothing a bit of apple blood and a good book can't mend.

0:21:31.12 - 0:21:34.50

-Books? -Nope. I don't know nothing about that.

0:21:34.67 - 0:21:38.46

-We hate books. Wow, look at the time. -What's a book? Good night.

0:21:41.43 - 0:21:42.43

Huh?

0:21:43.76 - 0:21:48.02

-(GASPS) What the... -Girl, you do not wanna know.

0:21:49.31 - 0:21:51.31

(CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)